Reluctant Christmas Hosting

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How to make the illusion of a well-prepared dinner party…

Some people take to hosting like a duck takes to ice – they find it a lot harder than they were expecting. That’s fine. We understand if you don’t know the recipe for a single canape, only have enough forks in your house for one extra person, and don’t care if anyone but your own glass is full. We get it. However, we all know that the festive season is a dangerous time, and sometimes you find yourself inviting everyone in sight to your house after that 3rd glass of bubbles at the Christmas party.

Don’t worry: here is the winning formula to make your event a success, without spending too much time or effort on it.

1. Tinsel is your friend.

You need to think high impact, low effort. Having done the research, and trawled through all the shops online and off – I can confirm that all christmas decorations are a waste of money. Trees, baubles, things that light up and especially anything santa shaped – all too expensive for the value they add. The only exception to this rule is tinsel. It’s cheap, available in literally every shop through December, and provides a highly festive environment to get your guests in the mood. You can literally never have enough so just get a load, smother your house in it – and yourself. Or if you want to take things a step further and get creative, you can find more help here.

2. Get a gimmick.

At some point you’ll need to address the issue of feeding them. You’ll try and persuade a friend to cook for you, then wonder if you can feasibly serve cheese on toast, before finally considering if it’s ok to get a takeout. Should you decide these are all unacceptable options (which we’re by no means saying) then we recommend getting a gimmick. Again, thinking high ‘wow’ factor, low effort. Renting a raclette machine, or fondue kit can cost you as little as £5 for the day. The real beauty of this is not just that your guests will be blown away with the novelty experience, but that you won’t even need to cook. Buy some cheese, put it all on the table – jobs a good’un. You even get to make your signature dish – toast – to go on the side. Alternatively if you’re more of a sweet tooth, we’d recommend renting an ice cream machine and having a stab at some Christmas flavoured (A.K.A booze flavoured) goodies.

3. Get Equipped.

So now you’ve got food and decor in the bag, you’re basically ready to go. There are just a few practicalities to consider first, though. Have you got enough chairs? Do you have a sound system set up complete with a horrible Christmas remix playlist? If not, never fear – Fat Lama is here. And for just an extra fiver, why not rent some disco lights for when you all get rockin-around-the-Christmas-tree later on?

That’s it, you’re all set. All that remains is to remove the evidence that you never used the ‘cooking’ wine, and choose a suitably festive outfit. Or if you’re struggling on that front too, just impose a compulsory fancy dress theme and come as a banana.

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